i dont know how long this will stay around but for now i found a comfortable spot on my bathroom floor on the white rug, almost like beach sand and i dont have shoes or socks and it's weightless, cold tiles around the edges like water but i dont care for touching it, for spelling mistakes or shy letters, for waste (only for truth), for loss of control; instead for once it is a beautiful thing to lose it, numbness isn't so nice to look at, so i think tomorrow ill wake up and plan things according to what i want, go back to those places and see them from strange and different eyes like going back in time like not sweating so much when it's cold out still like not breathing so heavy when i'm asleep, people wake me up and ask what's wrong and i'm so confused! usually i end up wedged between the bed and the wall anyway it's so much quieter inside there. but maybe this rug is quieter, or maybe i just need a new rug.


"people forget that when you’re 16, you’re probably more serious than you’ll ever be again. you think seriously about the big questions."-john hughes



blue feathers & dirty knees

more from the lake
this song is beautiful