Endlessly important work that i haven't seen in years and was reminded of yesterday. Considering this discourse in the context of multiple other pertinent discussions as well, even 25 years after it was made - it is still relevant. More on her website.
"I think generally people accept to speak when the question you ask them is not a question they have learned in their life to answer yes or no. So if I ask you if you would please help me carry my suitcase and move my apartment you can say no because you have something else to do, you'd rather change your own apartment. But if I ask you if you would please sleep in my bed, instead of saying no, you say, 'Why not?'"